There was a time we spoke of the world as if we owned it

I have always wanted to write a novel, but I can't.
'Why not?'  I'll ask myself.
'What is stopping you?'
That I never know. I'm not sure why I can't write. Why is it so complicated to magically pour myself into paper?
Maybe someday I will create something great. Maybe I already have. Who knows?

Not Sure I'll Ever Live Here

I'm not the type of person that could ever live in neighborhood like this.

Photo credit: Jasmine Spoors.

Ever felt this way?

I'm all too familiar with that feeling that you get when you've  had a long, difficult, stressful day. That feeling that settles in near the end of this tedious day. The one that washes over you and douses every part of you in exhaustion. It takes every bit of energy you had before. It replaces that long-gone energy with, instead, a heavy weight on your body and your mind.
I always seem to be so relieved when these type of days come to an end. I'm tired, but immensely grateful when I can finally drag myself home to bed. But, when my head hits the pillow, something happens. My mind suddenly throws itself into overdrive and my thoughts are racing so fast that I can't catch them anymore.
Time passes by as I am suddenly trying to solve every problem in my life. I'm planning my week and then I'm thinking of homework. I'm recapping my day or making my bucket list... I find myself mulling over everything my brain can possibly conjure up. It's ever-changing and, most times, forgotten by dawn.
Every now and then my neurotic brain reminds me that I have to be up early on the morning for some unwelcomed everyday obligation. The prompt is burried quickly by hurried distractions.
It takes a countless number of my thoughts before I finally feel my mind blanketed in darkness and I'm ready to drift off.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
My alarm screams at me.
Every fiber of my being is jolted awake as my brain sends out a sharp signal.
'It can't be time, yet,' I think to myself.
But, it is always time. My alarm never lies.
I know I have to get up. I don't have a choice. I struggle to open my heavy eyelids on these mornings. The sun is usually peeking through my blinds. It always makes my eyes ache.
Every time I feel so defeated and I think, 'Get up. The world doesn't care if you're tired.'